"Isn't my own good enough a reason?" he draws out slowly, eyes dragging to look at what Godric is looking at.
The basement is dark and damp, and his coffin has been pushed over and sits haphazardly on its side.
"Why not? It's a dungeon. Meant for prisoners and people who deserve to be tortured for what they've done. Pam and I used it often. So, it's appropriate. Your gracious Admiral knew exactly what he was doing giving me this place."
Eric isn't so sure of that. "I was being punished for them before I came here," he counters, picking up the scrap of material he's been using for a blanket and returning it to his shoulders. "But I glamoured a man when I got here and he said we're here to seek redemption; atone for our sins. Is he wrong?"
It isn't normal for questions to be answered with anything but honesty while being glamoured. Eric presses his back against the wall and then slides back down to sit. For the moment, Godric's question is lost.
Eric hums a quick note of indifference. "Maybe not, but while I'm here it's all three in one way or another."
He lingers there, watching as Godric opens his arms and wanting to go to him. Only the side of him that feels ashamed and the confidence he had in who he was is gone -- obliterated. But there is comfort being offered and it's by the only one that matters to him, even if he feels he doesn't deserve it.
Finally, he walks into them and hides his face. "I did everything wrong. I failed you. I failed everyone."
Punishing himself seems like the right thing to do - for him. He met his true death by accepting that there was nothing else he could do for the people he cared about. Godric, gone. Nora, gone. Sookie, gone in a way that was worse than dying. Pam, pushed away because he'd failed her. Willa, failed. It was too much and he finally gave up.
I'm so tired.
Eric squeezes his eyes shut, fighting it off at the same time Godric urges him and a fresh drop of blood falls from his nose. "I'm trying. But the nightmares.."
The ones of him pleading for him and Nora not to leave, only to end up alone anyway.
He cradles him there in his arms, feeling his heart breaking again and again for him. He brushes the blood from Eric's face and presses a kiss to his forehead. "You are safe with me," he tells him, as if that might serve to help. "I will worry less for you if you are nearby and not - here."
He knows. Even went so far as to hold his phone in front of him, ready to send a message telling his maker to release him; he was a disgrace, as Archer pointed out and he was an embarrassment for acting on his emotions like he'd been called out for doing so many times before. But severing the bond with Godric was out of the question. He'd experienced it already and it was, in large part, what led to his own true death.
Now the phone lay on the cement floor across the room, the display technical rainbow of bars and the screen broken in a series of cracks that looked like a spiderweb.
Eric's hand curls around the back of Godric's shoulder, clinging to the grounding effect that contact was giving him. Yes, he was safe, and he finally opens his eyes again. "I don't want to intrude," he murmurs, his voice small.
There's no doubt in his mind that he wishes to be wherever the older vampire is.
"Do you believe I would allow you to intrude?" he wonders with a raised brow. Godric is not the sort of vampire who would allow anyone, especially his own progeny, to be anywhere he did not want them. He wouldn't tolerate it.
"Good." He gestures to the communicator and then back at Eric. "Bring that, too. You should find someone to fix it for you. Other people can't reach you as easily as I can."
He lets go of him and takes a step away, walking towards the steps while he waits for Eric to follow.
Eric looks over at the small device before shuffling across the floor to retrieve it. As far as he's concerned, other people besides Godric can fuck off for the time being. But, that's the exhaustion and hunger that's got him thinking like that and he keeps quiet.
He needs a few days before he can face the barge again. Maybe even a bit longer than that.
Godric leads him silently back to his cabin, opening the door and picking up the little black kitten before she runs out.
"Get something to drink from the cabinets or the icebox," he tells him, placing little Freyja on the couch. "And then come and sleep." It's still early, but Godric wants to know that he will be somewhere safe. Somewhere comfortable. The guest room is open, but Godric's room is, too. Eric can choose where he'd like to stay.
He's uncharacteristically slow and beyond weak but he manages to keep up until they get down to the eighth floor and Godric's cabin. Once he's had enough, he'll crawl into his maker's bed and work on getting some sleep -- something he still feels anxious about doing. He knows it's silly, given he's there and not alone. But there's still that worry that his mind will convince him otherwise.
Eric gets into bed and much like he did when he was a younger vampire and desired to be protected, he scoots in close and watches the flicker of candlelight dance across Godric's face until his eyes blink shut and he falls asleep.
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He walks inside, closing the door, and leans over the railing for a moment to survey the basement.
"Eric. You do not need to live like this. In here."
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The basement is dark and damp, and his coffin has been pushed over and sits haphazardly on its side.
"Why not? It's a dungeon. Meant for prisoners and people who deserve to be tortured for what they've done. Pam and I used it often. So, it's appropriate. Your gracious Admiral knew exactly what he was doing giving me this place."
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"Why will you not stay with me?"
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It isn't normal for questions to be answered with anything but honesty while being glamoured. Eric presses his back against the wall and then slides back down to sit. For the moment, Godric's question is lost.
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He spreads his arms out to him. "Quite the opposite."
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He lingers there, watching as Godric opens his arms and wanting to go to him. Only the side of him that feels ashamed and the confidence he had in who he was is gone -- obliterated. But there is comfort being offered and it's by the only one that matters to him, even if he feels he doesn't deserve it.
Finally, he walks into them and hides his face. "I did everything wrong. I failed you. I failed everyone."
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He wraps his arms tightly around him, running his hand down his back.
"You must sleep."
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I'm so tired.
Eric squeezes his eyes shut, fighting it off at the same time Godric urges him and a fresh drop of blood falls from his nose. "I'm trying. But the nightmares.."
The ones of him pleading for him and Nora not to leave, only to end up alone anyway.
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Now the phone lay on the cement floor across the room, the display technical rainbow of bars and the screen broken in a series of cracks that looked like a spiderweb.
Eric's hand curls around the back of Godric's shoulder, clinging to the grounding effect that contact was giving him. Yes, he was safe, and he finally opens his eyes again. "I don't want to intrude," he murmurs, his voice small.
There's no doubt in his mind that he wishes to be wherever the older vampire is.
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"I want to be where you are," he admits, leaning his head back slightly to look at Godric. "I will go with you."
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He lets go of him and takes a step away, walking towards the steps while he waits for Eric to follow.
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He needs a few days before he can face the barge again. Maybe even a bit longer than that.
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"Get something to drink from the cabinets or the icebox," he tells him, placing little Freyja on the couch. "And then come and sleep." It's still early, but Godric wants to know that he will be somewhere safe. Somewhere comfortable. The guest room is open, but Godric's room is, too. Eric can choose where he'd like to stay.
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Eric gets into bed and much like he did when he was a younger vampire and desired to be protected, he scoots in close and watches the flicker of candlelight dance across Godric's face until his eyes blink shut and he falls asleep.